Fat Surfers! Ice balls! Blood-Infused Surfboards!
Nip-Slips! Spicoli!

After two years as the Collector of Internet Nonsense, I'm signing off from Week in Review. Next week will be taken over by someone
who loves the Internet just as much, so don't you worry. Keep laughing, my friends. —Janna Irons

Shhhaaaarrrrkkkkkkk!

Our favorite carnivore made the LA Times this week in a report stating: "In 2013, Hawaii had a record number of shark attacks." In other news, this shark video is stupidly hilarious.

No, Really, Shaaaaaaaarrrrrrkkkk!!

A Gold Coast surfer almost gets eaten, and then they laugh, because they are probably drunk. Nom, nom, nom.

Our Number 1 Fan

Actor Aaron Eckhart said on Leno this week that he only follows I, Frankenstein (the movie he's starring in) and SURFER Magazine on Twitter. We are famous now.

Rap, Fried Chicken, and Drugs!

Plus surfing! Your favs!

Ice Balls!

Another surfing obstacle we haven't even fathomed! Sharks, you better watch out, ice balls are pretty awesome...they might become our new favorite surf hazard.

Urban Legend of the Week

According to the La Jolla Patch, a Reddit user claimed that a La Jolla Shores surf shop worker injected blood in rental surfboards in an effort to attract sharks to kill off tourists—so he could catch all the waves himself. Well, that's one way to do it.

Pro Surfer Twitters

Tweets About Things That Suck

think-less about the system because it fucks you !!!

-Jamie O'Brien,
@whoisjob

Coors light might have the coldest can but it's also the weakest. Ice pops em. I'd rather have warm beer then a leaking beer.

-Damien Faharenfort,
@doomasrumors

Friends can be disappointing

-Anastasia Ashley,
@Anastasia Ashley

Nip Slip!

Steph Gilmore and Laura Enever rode fancy surfboards for Australian Vogue this week. The wardrobe favored fashion over function, obviously.

10 Fattest Surfer Who Rip

This week noted shit-talker Warwick Wright gave us a list of fat surfers who he claims can "munch till the mother fucken lights go out and then wake up and rip all day."

Wise Words of the Week

@sterlingspencer explains the origins of hipsterism.

This Week's Face of Determination

Spicoli.

Comforters Made of Boardshorts!

It was announced that Quiksilver is making a play in the hotel business. If you have a net worth over $1 million you can be an investor HERE. The below picture is Quik's 2012 April Fool's joke. Soon a reality?

...And A Word From Our Sponsor

Sanuk took the winner of their #totallybeachin Instagram contest to Hawaii to live it on the North Shore. Check it out:

Thanks to our friends at Sanuk for supporting this amazing piece of hard-hitting journalism.

The End. Tune in next week for more.

| posted on January 17, 2014

Random happenings in surf for the Week of January 13.

  • El

    You guys are using the Daily Mail for reference sources?????

  • James

    yeah! yeah! Sterling!

  • Claudio

    this post about fat surfers is very bad, warwick is sexist, fat-shaming, very narrw minded, irresponsible and his blog is very poorly written. it’s really sad to see it in this selection, to see the magazine associate itself with people who carry opinions such as his.

  • Anthony W. Persaud

    Thanks for keeping it real Janna, I thoroughly enjoyed your take on Week in Review, you got me hooked.

  • njsurf

    Janna Irons!

  • Jay Bloomquist

    thanks janna!

  • pattagucci

    Sterling may be cool, but ripping off a quote from the late – and truly great – Nelson Mandela is about as lame as it comes. Poor selection, Surfer, especially as close as it is to MLK day.

  • Tommy

    could like that kid like say like like a few more like hundred like times? like go throw an air reverse