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Year in Review

The Best of Week in Review 2011

| posted on December 30, 2011

Week in Review was birthed in March. It became a home for the obscure stories/photos/Tweets/videos that were largely ignored by the “serious” “surf news” sites. It became a year of procrastination, disguised as a diligent weekly interweb search for the important, yet bizarre, occurrences of the surf world. Here are the highlights from a year of hard work.

Week of March 7

Alana Blanchard Turned 21
Guys drink beers on their birthdays. Alana Blanchard, Laura Enever, Nage Melamed, Monyca Byrne-Wickey, and Coco Ho do this.

Week of April 11

Dancing with Occy
It was announced this week that Mark “Occy” Occhilupo will be one of the 2011 contestants on Dancing with the Stars in Australia. The photo alone is gold.

World-Class Athletes or Homeless People?
Perusing the Top 34 on ASPWorldTour.com, one comes upon these three top-notch athletes.

Kai Otton, Matt Wilkinson, Dane Reynolds. Photos: ASP

Week of May 9

“Brah, what’s up with the Wave Jet?”

Week of June 13

Sterling Goes to France
Why are dubious foreign-accent voice-overs so funny?

Week of June 20

Pirates Invade Lowers
This has been all over the web this week, but in case you missed it, here you go…

Kelly Slater on Chelsea Lately
On Wednesday, Slater appeared on E!’s nighttime talk show with Chelsea Handler. A quick recap of the show: Kelly plugged his girlfriend’s bikini line, then he plugged Quiksilver, then Chelsea referenced Baywatch, compared Kelly to Laird, and called him “tiny.”

 

Anastasia Ashely Appears in Playboy
We know you read it for the articles, because, of course, the journalism is incredible: [from the intro] “With her bronze, taut exterior and her compulsive need for adrenaline the surf Betty is the modern sea goddess.”

Week of July 18

Parody?
Or the most uncomfortably serious commercial since Water is the Essence of Moisture?

Week of July 25

BOBBY, IN ALL CAPS
Maybe it would be best to keep the Monster Energy consumption down to four or five cans a day?


Week of August 8

There Were Drugs In Huntington Beach on U.S. Open Weekend!
Just a mile from the U.S. Open mayhem at Huntington Pier this past Sunday morning, lifeguards spotted a small fishing boat filled with three Mexicans. Of course, they immediately assumed they were smuggling drugs or illegal aliens. According to The OC Register, once the men realized they had been spotted, they turned back to sea and were seen throwing a package overboard. The Orange County Sheriff’s department then pursued the boat and arrested the men at gunpoint, making sure to pose for a few photos so that they can update their Facebook profile pictures once they returned home from work.

I'm no expert in Spanish, but one online translator told me 'La Perrucha' means '(female) trouble-maker.' Apt. Photo: Orange County Sheriff's Department

Week of August 22

The Most Awesome Video on the Interweb
It might just be the best surf movie in existence.

Week of September 5

Bobby, as Bert
Bobby’s rant in his post-heat interview sure did fire you guys up. People were angry. And yelling! On our message boards, and Facebook, and our website! At the ASP! At Bobby! Venomous rage! So serious! This video takes a lighter route (thanks, ASL).

Week of September 12

The Geekiest of Surf Trips
We received an e-mail this week from a reader named Andre Price who is a self-professed “star wars geek” and “Stormtrooper who is enjoying his trip around the globe without the empire armed with a surfboard.”

Storm Trooper, everywhere. Photos courtesy of Stormtrooper.tumblr.com.

Week of September 19

“Training Surfboard” For Sale
Training surfboard, ironing board–same thing.

Week of September 26

Bedtime Stories with Buttons
This is from 2007, but it’s epic.

Well Done, Daniel Tosh. Well Done.
Surely you’ve seen this. It’s been Tweeted, re-Tweeted, Facebook linked, e-mailed, and faxed 8.7 million times since Wednesday. But in case you’ve been snuggling with yourself under a rock this week, here you go. The line was certainly crossed, but overall he nailed it. Click here to see the whole thing.

 

Week of October 3

Three Minutes of Girls Without Faces

Wilko Has Boobs
This year, Matt Wilkinson has debuted a new, wildly printed custom wetsuit for each event. In honor of the topless women of France, he commissioned this breast-filled wonder for the Quik Pro France.

Wilko's collection of single boobs.

Steph Gilmore Shows Us Her Boobs, Too
In the third annual ESPN Magazine Body Issue, which just hit newsstands, former World Champ Steph Gilmore posed for this sexy nude photo.

A very naked four-time World Champ. Photo: Luis Sanchis for ESPN Magazine

Week of October 10

Laird and Oprah Discuss SUPs
Not new, but neat.

Week of October 17

Don’t You Wish You Could Surf Like Flynn?
Or sing/play guitar/dance/song-write/make videos in iMovie like Flynn Novak’s uncle Rick?

Shark! Shark Surfing!
Last week, we shared the tale of an Oregon man who claimed to have “surfed” on the back of a shark. Here is a lovely reenactment courtesy of the world wide web.

#I’mSoDamnExcited Photo of the Week

Adriano, giving himself a hernia.

Week of October 24

Jamie O’Brien Rides a Turtle, Enrages People
Last night, I received an anonymous tip via text (below left) about a big story on the news in Hawaii. A Google search revealed a report by KHON 2 News that expressed Hawaiians’ outrage over this photo of Jamie O’Brien (right) that turned up online. Watch the video of the newscast here.

The tip, and the photo causing the uproar.

Mark Mathews Has Cojones
The big-wave charger is proving his fearlessness goes beyond the lineup with his recent appearance on an Australian reality show, “Surfie Wants a Wife.” According to the show’s website, “Local surfing legend and all round super hunk, Mark Mathews, is single & ready to mingle – but he’s up for something a little more than a disco pash – this Surfer wants to bag himself a wife.” Watch Mark drink a large, romantic glass of milk with a few contenders:

Week of October 31

Wilko Has Nap Time, Cops Disapprove of Public Naps
Matt Wilkinson was arrested on October 22 after a Newport Beach resident reported seeing a drunk man asleep in the street. Wilko was detained for being drunk in public. According to the Sydney Morning Herald, “Wilkinson, 23, who declares on his popular blog ‘I’m superbadass and the women love it,’ was picked up in the wealthy coastal suburb of Newport Beach, south of Los Angeles.” Awesomely, multiple news media outlets chose that particular quote from Wilko’s blog to explain the incident. No charges were made, and Wilko was released after he had a nap in a Newport-approved sleeping area.

That day was, in fact, the best day ever.

In Other Wilko News…
This video is awesome.

Dane, a Bungalow, and a Falcon
This week Rolling Stone featured a story on Dane Reynolds’ aversion to competitive surfing. In it, they included this lovely depiction: “Reynolds shies away from most interviews, preferring to spend his time away from surfing in the study of his bungalow in Ventura, where he lives with his girlfriend, and their a pet falcon. He reads philosophy and writers like Charles Bukowski.”

Dane and falcon. Photo: Interview Magazine

Ke11ygate
In light of the ASP’s recent numerical blunder, the kids over at Australia Surfing Life created this little number. It’s beautiful.

Week of November 21

Oh, Goatee
It’s still unclear why people believe animals want to surf.

People Who Don’t Know What They’re Talking About
I wish I could say this was a parody.

Week of November 28

In Other Ridiculous Stand-Up Paddle News…
An American Girl doll was recently released with a stand-up paddleboard as her definitive accessory. Should we be worried?

Brainwashing them young...

Sally Gets Sexy
You know her as the fierce competitor who battled Carissa for the World Title in 2011. Here, we see a more naked, less aggressive Sally Fitzgibbons in this month’s edition of “Stab Persuades Surfer Girls to Take Their Tops Off.” Oh, and then Erica Hosseini one-upped her.

Week of December 5

Cory Lopez and His Small Child
Even if you’re one of those people who thinks kids are gross, you should watch this. It’s amazing.

Week of December 12

The Richest Surfers in All the Land
According to BRW’s Rich List, an annual ranking of the Top 50 Australian sports and entertainment earners, Taj Burrow (No. 25 on the list, makes $2 mill a year), Mick Fanning (No. 27, $2 million), and Joel Parkinson (No. 47, $1.5 million) are the richest Aussie surfers. Stephanie Gilmore (No. 48, $1.2 million) and Julian Wilson (No. 50, $1.2 million) rounded out the list.

'Hahaha, we are so rich.' Photo: joliphotos.com

Week of December 19

Dane’s Defense
This week, Dane Reynolds presented us with his “Declaration of Independence,” in which he explains, “i’ve been getting some pressure from various people and/or websites to write something, sorta like an official statement concerning my exit from the world tour. my dismount. my pirouette…” It’s a long, sparsely punctuated opus in which he levels with us, explaining, “i feel like a baseball. the skins been carefully pried off and there’s a thread and i’m gonna pull it and i’m gonna end up a pile of string on the floor. but then maybe i’ll be knit into something more useful, like a sweater. or perhaps something beautiful, like a hand embroidered masterpiece of a deer and two fawn drinking cold clear water out of a creek.” And then Sterling Spencer wrote his own. Click here to read it.

'Take that, Dane.' Photo: Pinchmysalt.com

Morgan Maassen’s Strange Photo of the Year
SURFER photog Morgan Maassen consistently captures odd images. And Craig Anderson, he had the best year ever, as far as hanging out and getting photos taken goes. We crown you both masters of your craft.

Nate Tyler, Sterling Spencer, and Warren Smith, with Craig presiding. Photo: Maassen

  • Ana

    The best of the year? Craig Anderson’s surfing of course! he’s the best =)
    A N D O rules!

  • Carlos

    Been a reader for Surfer since 1961. After this, I think I’m done. This doesn’t look like the surfing I’ve experienced, for half a century.

  • goodriddance

    sayonara Carlos, one less dinosaur in the lineup!

  • Uncle Sam

    You forgot the FUKUSHIMA NUCLEAR DISASTER. The Japs are killing us all with radiation. 500 Million tons of radioactive waste is slowly making it’s way across the pacific and will reach Hawaii and the West Coast in less than a year. The nuclear fallout will cause hundreds of thousands of cancers in the next 10-20 years.

  • Trevor Ambrose

    Great interview with surfers. Surfer mag is so cool and amazing!