Time’s Betrayal

Fair Warning:

One day you’re waxing up your first board, and the next day your doctor is telling you that you have 70% closure in both ears and you need your pterygiums scraped.

One day you’re learning how to hit the lip, and the next day you realize that it’s physically impossible to hit the lip without pulling something or throwing something out of joint.

One day you’re bummed because your best friend surfs better than you, and the next day you’re bummed because your kid surfs better than you.

One day you’re using your age as an excuse for not paddling out when it’s huge, and the next day you’re using your age as an excuse for not paddling out when it’s huge.

One day you’re riding your first wave, and the next day you’re riding your ninety thousandth.

One day you’re young and hopeful and stoked and full of dreams, and the next day you’re old and broke and jaded….and yet…strangely satisfied…and wouldn’t trade your lifetime of surfing memories for all the money in the world.

If time flies when you’re having fun, then time hauls ass when you’re surfing—just ask some of the surfers pictured below…

Robert “Kelly” Slater, age 18, at Herbie Fletcher’s Los Cabos Classic, just prior to signing with Quiksilver. Photo: Gilley

I found this photo in a file labeled “Grommets”. I’m pretty sure it’s a young Pat O’Connell with a relatively undeveloped Salt Creek in the background. Photo: Gilley

I think Nathan Fletcher was 12 when we went down to Cabo with his dad, Dino Andino, Jonathan Paskowitz, and the late Anthony Cappa. Photo: Gilley

Cory Lopez in full grom summer recharge mode with sunburned nose as evidence. Photo: Gilley

T.J. Barron, age 6, already looking for the barrel at V-Land. Photo: Gilley

Matt Archbold in the Salt Creek parking lot with his Richo channel bottoms and Continental pride and joy. Photo: Gilley

Crest Fallen

Wipeouts are interesting: They can be funny – really funny…until they aren’t. Watching your buddy get mummy tossed into the flats is usually hilarious, but once the waves reach a certain size—a certain level of consequence—laughter is replaced by guttural noises. By empathy. By concern.

So while you might find humor in some of the situations below, remember that’s a fellow human taking the beating of a lifetime. Have a heart.

Brian Toth searches for a Waimea Shorebreak experience in the Caribbean.

Shawn Rhodes reasons that if you’re going to skim down the face at Maverick’s, you might as well drag a hand for style.

An unidentified diver lays out a high-difficulty-factor-Louganis-back-gainer for the crowd at Backdoor.

The only thing worse than going over the falls at Black’s is doing it during a contest.

Have sympathy for the poor soul who had to provide visual evidence of the nightmarish near-shore rock situation at J-bay.

Let’s just say that Danilo Couto didn’t earn his Billabong XXL award overnight.

Flushed Away

As oxygen-breathing, skin-encased, finless creatures, our experiences in the water are, by nature, otherworldly—and some of these experiences can be a little more otherworldly than others…

On July 7th, 2001, Otto Flores pulled in at Teahupoo, but soon discovered…

…that the first few sets of a long period groundswell can behave differently…

…and that these long period forerunners can run up a reef faster, be ledgier, and generally have extra oomph…

…and that even a well-crafted, textbook pull-in can end with a foam ball mow-down…

…which can subsequently send you whirlpooling around the bowl like a turd in a crapper…

…and then plunge you to the bottom to complete the analogy.