How to Skip Work for Surf

| posted on August 30, 2011

Whether you have to lie, cheat, or steal, you have to do whatever it takes when your homebreak produces this. Photo: Ghiglia

It could be argued that skipping out on work during a recession to go for a surf is, well, somewhat “irresponsible.” But ask yourself this: How irresponsible would it be to let the day of the year at your homebreak pass you by? Yeah, that’s what we thought. We consulted a few everyday surfers to get the workingman’s perspective on shunning work to go surf. The next time perfection knocks and you need an excuse to bail from your cubicle, do yourself a favor and consult our list of pointers below.

Although it may be cliché, feigning an ailment is the bread-and-butter of excuses to get out of work. From severe nausea to migraines, it’s literally an open field when it comes to formulating a list of phony symptoms. A word of advice: The more contagious your illness, the better. “Calling in sick is just about the oldest trick in the book,” says Dean Edwards, a high school English teacher. “I must have called into work and put on the sick voice a few dozen times. You’ve got to be careful not to overdo it though. It’s almost too easy of an excuse, and people will get suspicious if you’re calling in sick every other week.” As an alternative—for the parents out there—the sick child excuse tends to work wonders as well.

One of the most tried-and-tested ways to get out of work to surf is to technically still be “working.” Example: You’re in sales and need to take a client out to lunch. Well, don’t take him out to “lunch.” Instead of spending two hours shooting the shit and nibbling at your entrée, meet up at a coffee bar for a quick cup and you’ll free up an entire hour to go demolish that wedge going off down the street. Technically, you’ve held the meeting, but you also made it rain for an hour as well. “I’ve definitely used the long lunch excuse a few times,” says Noah Corpuz, a graphic designer. “I’ve had a few ‘meetings with the printers’ where I rushed through it and wound up in the water all afternoon.”

If you’re trying to shun some responsibility at home, working late tends to be a golden excuse. If your significant other has you scheduled to assemble that new end table from IKEA all afternoon, but the forecast is pumping, consider “putting in some overtime” at the office. Turn your phone off so you can really “focus,” grab your suit and board, and commence shredding. As a word of advice, you’ll need to come back from your session looking like you’ve been in front of a computer screen for 10 hours. Spill some coffee on yourself, look disheveled, and most of all, rid yourself of anything that can connect you to your session. “I’ve definitely pulled out of some responsibility at home to go surf and used the working-late excuse,” says Taylor Schultz, who works in marketing. “You just want to be careful not to let your wife think you’re having an affair.”

All names have been changed…for obvious reasons.

  • Jimmy

    You can say you have an apointment in the morning, go surfing then come to work after.. That works for an early surf!

  • Drew

    Crap! I just locked my keys in my car, might be a couple hours before AAA gets here…. ahhh bummer. MUahahahaha!

  • Albino Unicorn!

    Who was the one that said that work is mandatory when the boss pays you pennies on the dollar for your hard work!

    Not buying it anymore! You have no respect for me(Incentive) I have no work ethic for you!

  • Glenn

    One more thing, make sure you slather on the sunscreen to keep that “been at the beach all day” look at bay.

  • Shanna Garcia

    Well if my significant other chooses the have to work late excuse he best be calling me to suit up along side of him and share the glorious session w/me!!! i rather surf than put that IKEA shelf together too!! 🙂

  • Brenda

    Any good wife should know that surfing is part of mandatory weekend activities. Spend the extra cash to get pre-assembled furniture and everybody wins.

  • Coen

    Anything to get you to the wave’s is good. Just dot get sun burnt cause that’s a hard one to explain…

  • Eve

    How about telling the truth?…If you have an employer that really understands you, and knows that when you’re done surfing you’ll put in the hours at work (with a smile form ear to ear) and a spouse that knows how stoked you get after a good ride..there is no need to tell lies…be honest…have you’re session..and all will be well. @ drew: ok you’re excuse deserves an award LOL.

  • Bob

    If you surf after work instead of going straight home, remember to wipe the sunscreen off your face before you get back and kiss the wife – learnt that the hard way!

  • Zeek

    Here’s a lesson:

    Don’t call in sick, go surfing all day, and forget sunscreen!

    I had to call in sick the next day too because I was burnt to a crisp. I was all stoked I had pulled it off until I got home a took a look in the mirror…. luckily my boss was just a little pissed and didn’t bring it up more than once. Still, I was really stressing on that one.

  • Marco

    Me favorite excuse is that you have to meet a client in an undurstandably far location…but nevet forget the sunscreen. ever.

  • Paul van Jaarsveld

    In Jeffreys Bay, lots of us close shop when the surf is on. No use trying to focus on work if all you can think off is surf. Stoked surfers make for happier workers anyways.